What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

My wife has a bunch of really attractive friends, and she expects me to never say anything to her about how beautiful they are. Does this seem fair? I love my wife, and just commenting shouldn’t hurt anything, right?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why did Donald Trump and Melania Trump sleep in different rooms?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What can you do if you are a full-grown adult, but never experienced being a child?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

If gays can get married, why can't I marry my dog or a cheeseburger?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Why are breasts attractive?

Make Nazis afraid again!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

How do you know when someone really loves you?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why does Boko Haram attack its own Muslims?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Why is my vagina swollen, it’s very itchy. I had sex we used protection, but day after it felt like my insides had a heartbeat as well as itching, the pulsing has went away but it is still itchy and my discharge is yellow, i'm 15, what could it be?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Is the Chinese economy currently collapsing? If not, what could potentially cause it to collapse?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

TEXT:

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Having read so much about Archie and Lilibet not actually existing, does anyone have any proof that they not only exist but that Meghan gave birth to them?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...